When I first thought of the title for the post, it was more of a self explanatory 'I haven't written in a while' title. But as I was typing it... It actually perfectly describes everything I'm feeling. It's just been a while. It's been a long time since I've sat at my computer and thought about how my weeks have been. A while since I thought about the good, the bad, the what if's. In a way I guess thats a good thing because I have been too busy to dwell on the things that are making me upset, I guess its also bad that I haven't taken the time to remember all the moments that made me happy. While I look back I think about those moments now, the good the bad the ugly.
It's been a while since I've hangout with friends, which I mean isn't really odd considering I'm not at school right now so I don't have the chances to make new friends and the more I look back on it I don't really want to be with the friends that I had in high school (for obvious reasons). Not having a lot of friends can be good and bad. You see, it's been a while since I've had any "Im mad so and so didn't invite me to wherever" drama, but at the same time, thats kind of what I miss... Being invited, being not invited, knowing that things were going on around me.
Having to find another school to (hopefully) attend in the fall also brings me to another "it's been a while" moment. It has been a LONG time since I have applied to colleges. You'd think that since I had done it before it wouldn't be as stressful. You'd be wrong. It's more stressful knowing that I have to explain my former situation to colleges hoping that they understand I WANT to learn. But, I have learned through this whole stressful school 'thing' that just because I saw what happened as a failure doesn't mean I can't be a success.
Having all this time to myself (even though I work two jobs and really don't have much time at all) makes me realize that I am young. I don't need to be where everyone else my age is. We all have our own paths in life and mine is different than others. Mine is how it should be, how it needed to be in order for me to be successful in the future. While some may have seen my situation as something that is holding them back, I took it as an opportunity to take my time in life. To let things figure themselves out. I have taken the time to regain my happiness.
When one door closes, another door opens.
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