wait.

I actually just started writing something and then decided 'I don't like this I'm going to start over'.
Can you imagine, imagine if it was THAT easy to just decide you don't like something and want to start it over. My life would be some much more simple... Even they way I just worded that was confusing "so much more".

Anyway- as its 1:00 in the morning theres so many things running through my mind. I hate it.

First (as always): College. What am I going to do. After a long weekend with my parents (I was home wednesday-sunday because I have been SERIOUSLY sick) I didn't really get any thinking done because talking to them is merely impossible because I yell, then they yell, then I cry, then they give up. SO I've decided for myself that I need to figure everything out and then tell them my plans and ask for their help. BUT what am I going to do. Here are my options
1. Transfer to BSU/UMB
2.Hair dressing school
3. Community college until i figure it out
4. Stay at snhu
Now that I know my options, and I mean those are what I think all of my options are... and if I am missing one.... PLEASE SOMEONE HELP... I should list the pros and the cons
1. If i transfer to a state school I can save significant amounts of money, I can have a job, I can live at home and mom and dad may even buy me a jeep. (pros) But if transfer to a state school I will have to meet all new people, change my major because accounting... not. for. me. and I would potentially have to live at home with my parents nagging me, making me live in my room that I've lived in my entire life when I'm technically supposed to be living on my own and learning to live on my own. and I don't want to miss the college experience... Even if I am not sure if I completely know what that is, or if I like it. (cons)
2. If I go to a cosmo school I will be done with school in a year and will be able to have a job at 19/20 potentially be happier with my life because I'm not stressed out about what assignment is due when and what math problem goes with what formula (pros). BUT I will be waisting everything I am doing at school right now, which doesn't really seem practical because I really am working hard, even if my 49 in math says otherwise. -_- (cons).
3. Community college... the one place I always said I would never go to because I was "too smart" but yet, the more I think about it, the kids that are in community college for a year or too are probably smarter than kids like me who are spending 20k on an education that they aren't even sure that they want, paying for classes that we don't need because we are in a major we are going to change. (cons) But the big CC is probably something that might help me figure all that out... I could work, maintain and education, and be able to talk to people about a career and what type of work I may enjoy and be good at...hm.... BCC may be calling my name in the spring. (pros)
4. Finally, staying at snhu... I have no pros and no cons because I haven't been here long enough to even know how I feel about snhu. I don't know if I hate having a roommate, if I hate the school work, if I hate the school, or if I love having a roommate, the school work isn't even a lot, and that I love the school. I LEGIT DONT FREAKING KNOW.

ok so that was college.

Second: Why doesn't second have 2 c's? But thats besides the point. I think I have insomnia and i am going to google the symptoms and Im pretty sure it will come up with something dumb like "Lack of Sleep" like no shit THANK YOU.

Third: (did it again... wrote something and then deleted it.... I gotta STOP doing that) But lastly... has anyone ever done something that they tell people they regret but, really don't regret at all? I find myself doing that more and more because my 'mistake' would be better accepted if I found myself feeling... regretful. But in all honesty, I look at my mistakes as ways to better myself and grow as a person. If I beat myself up over the mistakes I made because I want people to better except me... that would be one mistake that I actually do regret. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I kinda just do what I want and learn to live with the repercussions because it can only make me a better person. People are going to judge me either way, but the ones that don't are the ones that matter.

pce blogger.
1:18 am.
 #thoughts