When Life Isn't Good

When life doesn't go your way theres a few things that you can do.
1. Tell yourself that the world is ending and you're never going to be successful
2. Take each day as a new day and make the best of what you can when you can
3. Use the outcome of one situation to determine the rest of your life choices.

Now, while the list goes on and on and on... Number three speaks loudly to me. After leaving one college and convincing myself that I will never be successful in life, I eventually got myself some what together and got a job. I was nannying which was something that I always did, was good at, was easy, and made good money... For being 19. Then I decided that I wasn't busy enough since I kept lingering on the fact that where my life was at wasn't where I wanted it to be. So, I got a second job at a restaurant (which I will never recommend to anyone...ever). I told myself that this was not the type of life that I wanted for myself and I would do whatever it took to change it.

I applied to a community college, I got accepted and was ready to start classes. I just couldn't put my pride aside. I couldn't, and still can't, even though I need to, accept the fact that even thought community college was something I never had to consider post high school, its now something that may be my "Only option" post leaving a four year school in the middle of the first semester. Hoping, and not really knowing anything about requirements for applying as a transfer student to another four year school, I applied with all of the hopes of getting accepted and starting anew life for me. It was all I really wanted and all that I really looked forward too now. I had hope again. When I finally got my letter, my Dad had it in his hand. I just walked through the door after a day of shopping with not a care in the world. He looked at me and said "Here it is Em, i'm so sorry". I thought he was joking. So with a big smile on my face I said "I didn't get in?!" and it was in that moment, I knew he wasn't joking. I didn't get in.

What on earth am I supposed to do now. People keep telling me "you're young, you have plenty of time to figure it out" but... I don't. Pretty soon all of my friends are going to be graduating from college, getting real jobs, doing adult things. And what am I going to be doing? That is the one thing I don't want think about.

However... here I am, young, outgoing, and adventurous. I have an amazing family that supports any decision I make and will be there to help through any situation that I get myself into. And so I think, is this meant to be? Wherever I am meant to be, I will get there... Eventually. I've learned that being successful isn't going to come easy, and having to work towards it is going to make getting there that much more fulfilling. Going to a four year school, getting a cookie-cutter degree, thats the easy route.

My life is tough right now, it could be tougher. I use every outcome as a way of learning something valuable. So far I've learned that life isn't fair, but I can't use that as an excuse to set myself back. I might have to go down a path that I've never even thought about going down in order to get where I am supposed to be. But eventually, I'll get somewhere, and I'll be happy. I am young, I am enjoying life as much as I can, and I am thankfully life is hard because I wouldn't be grateful if it wasn't.