this. sucks.
I can't tell if i want to go home, or if i am just bored. However SOMETHING about this place just doesn't feel comfortable. It could be that my room is about the size of a closet and I am un organized enough. It could be that I don't have my family, my friends, my mother-freaking DOG. Ultimatley it could just be that I am not yet adjusted. However I just feel lonely. What do I do? UGH how can i make this whole college thing work for me. I don't even want to have a social life. I don't want to do anything besides have my parents get in the car and come pick my ass up.
I wish i had sibblings who have gone through this who could have given me tips about what to do, what feelings are normal, what feelings are not.
not to mention, THE SHOWER. its about the size of a trashcan and I couldnt figure out how to make the temperature not scortching hot. but i mean, 3rd degree burns are ok too right? NOT.
Thanksgiving... why must you be so far away.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Starting fresh.
Some people think of these times as just another part of life. I think of this time as a chance to start over. High school wasn't horrible, I had my ups and downs but doesn't everyone? This whole 'college' this is just down right S C A R Y . When I think about it... The fact that I leave in seven days from tomorrow, I want to curl up in my comfy bed, in the room i've grown up in since I was born and just stay there forever. But then I think, I can't do that. College is a place where you get the chance to be who you've always wanted to be, the person that high school didn't let you be because you've grown up with those kids and once someone has formed an opinion on you, its hard to change it. College, filled with THOUSANDS of kids who HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE, is a yes scary, but fabulous thing. As I soon start this journey a thousand things run through my mind.
1. what on earth do I bring with me
2. Is my roommate going to think I'm weird if i put on a full face of make up everyday
3. Is my roommate going to think its cool I put a full face of makeup on everyday
4. DONT GAIN THE FRESHMAN 15
5. i'm going to miss my mom
6. I'm going to miss my dad
7. MY DOG!!!!!!
8. why do we have to pay 500 dollars for book when be pay 50,000 for tuition??????
9. i'm going to miss my friends
10. no I'm not
11. my friends suck
12. no i'll miss them
13. lord please don't let me get lost.
14. dinning hall food???????
15. how can i possibly balance, school (maybe ill get straight A's for once in my life) friends, and sports??? and the gym?? HOW
but as they say "you're given this life because you can handle this life" so some how I am going to be able to handle this life. i'll keep tally of my mental breakdowns since i've never lived with anyone in my life besides my parents, having a roommate could either 1. FREAK ME OUT or 2. be really good for me and teach me how to respect other peoples space, and their things, and how to stay clean... for other people... because i don't care if my room is full of clothes.
oh college... what are you going to do to me? change me? teach me? better me?
we shall find out.
august 22, 2015.
1. what on earth do I bring with me
2. Is my roommate going to think I'm weird if i put on a full face of make up everyday
3. Is my roommate going to think its cool I put a full face of makeup on everyday
4. DONT GAIN THE FRESHMAN 15
5. i'm going to miss my mom
6. I'm going to miss my dad
7. MY DOG!!!!!!
8. why do we have to pay 500 dollars for book when be pay 50,000 for tuition??????
9. i'm going to miss my friends
10. no I'm not
11. my friends suck
12. no i'll miss them
13. lord please don't let me get lost.
14. dinning hall food???????
15. how can i possibly balance, school (maybe ill get straight A's for once in my life) friends, and sports??? and the gym?? HOW
but as they say "you're given this life because you can handle this life" so some how I am going to be able to handle this life. i'll keep tally of my mental breakdowns since i've never lived with anyone in my life besides my parents, having a roommate could either 1. FREAK ME OUT or 2. be really good for me and teach me how to respect other peoples space, and their things, and how to stay clean... for other people... because i don't care if my room is full of clothes.
oh college... what are you going to do to me? change me? teach me? better me?
we shall find out.
august 22, 2015.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Why Are We So Mean
Everyone has their own preconception of what a certain girls personality is based on there appearance. You have the rude, "resting bitch face" girl (which is a new expression which is when a girl has her bitch face on for no reason) you have the nice (who aren't usually nice) and you have the real. Most of the time, the "reals" are labeled as the bitches. But, i'm sorry?? Since when is telling it like it is being a bitch? You can be rude about it and, yes, nobody likes a rude girl, but most of the time, if you're being real you're just being real and just speaking your mind.
I like to think of myself as one of those real girls. I am open minded, brave, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I love to be heard. Girls like me are the girls that should be appreciated. But again, only if they are classy and not rude.
But why are we so "mean"? We aren't. Other girls see us as mean because we give them answers that they don't expect to hear. Girls are used to giving the good old, "tell em' what they want to hear" response, this was good in high school. But, when you step into the real world, you want to be honest. It shows your character and personality and that you are a down to earth real person and not some cookie-cutter-bitch who still can't figure out how to fit in because she doesn't wanna say the wrong thing. Well sweet-heart, everything is the wrong thing in this day and age, you just gotta find the right people. The people who are going to be real with you.
**This is my first blog post, i'm not sure if this made sense, and I am not going to proof read it either. I am just going to stand by it for being my first blog post.
***This is how i feel and that is all.
****Tomorrow may be different and that may be good.
August 16, 2015.
I like to think of myself as one of those real girls. I am open minded, brave, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I love to be heard. Girls like me are the girls that should be appreciated. But again, only if they are classy and not rude.
But why are we so "mean"? We aren't. Other girls see us as mean because we give them answers that they don't expect to hear. Girls are used to giving the good old, "tell em' what they want to hear" response, this was good in high school. But, when you step into the real world, you want to be honest. It shows your character and personality and that you are a down to earth real person and not some cookie-cutter-bitch who still can't figure out how to fit in because she doesn't wanna say the wrong thing. Well sweet-heart, everything is the wrong thing in this day and age, you just gotta find the right people. The people who are going to be real with you.
**This is my first blog post, i'm not sure if this made sense, and I am not going to proof read it either. I am just going to stand by it for being my first blog post.
***This is how i feel and that is all.
****Tomorrow may be different and that may be good.
August 16, 2015.
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